I woke up that morning, feeling a warm singe on my arm, thinking that it was my sister who was playing a silly prank on me again – upon waking my senses gathered seamlessly to realise it was the scorching sunlight piercing fiercely into my window – the energy was so unforgiving that it hit so gently, it reminded me that I needed to offer attention to my surroundings. That strength was indeed a good attention grabber. I organised myself on my bed, thinking what was I going to do today.
Having rested for days not knowing if I could further tolerate my workless routine. My mind was empty for a moment, couldn’t possibly be able to make up the content of the emptiness. Could it be the loneliness or the numbers punching through my mind-train or any meaningless subjects pushing through its way to jam my mind. I had that since the day I took myself off my hands at work and decided to offer some time for my self.
The good old days I presume were long gone with my old self, who struggled to stay sane on a regular basis. The emphasis on my life was discussed every day making sure I was on the right track I needed to survive.
“Are you awake?” a voice crept in through the seep hole underneath the door.
“Yes, I will be out in a minute.”
“You’re sure? Its ten now, we need to go get our tickets before twelve,”
I never get too sloppy – not even for work or somebody’s wedding dinner – especially the last wedding I went few months ago – extravagant. I didn’t know if this trip to Thailand was rightful or seeking to repent my sins when the time we came back. My mind was not cooperating the way it was suppose to be – putting on the right clothes, getting all excited and adjusting into the sweet fleeing experience.
“What time do we have to be there?”
“Come out and we will talk. Will you?” said Emily, my sister, who sounded like she needed an urgent ride to the nearest market to buy her favourite spinach for her breakfast.
I couldn’t take my humour alone and I burst into laughter as the image of my sister wearing a pair of torn shorts, running around in the market frantically enquiring for spinach.
“What are laughing about, come out quickly!” her voice enhanced my humour.
“Alright!”
As soon as I put myself at the door, her angular face with eyes that looked like sorrowness had hit hard on her for the years she lived – I laughed again.
“What so funny?” she said as her frown developed slowly over her nose.
“No, I was just thinking if you want some spinach?”
“What for, not as if I am desperate for it. Come on cut the crap. We got to prepare and help out.”
The unwanted thought of fleeing with fear admitted itself into my mind ruefully as quick as my sister punctuated her full stop with an air of uncertainty. It was hard to bear the thought of leaving the country to somewhere safer. Although the blasting and screaming on the street were sometimes deafening but it was my homeland and I was too used to the climate, people and the language. Moving away means I might not be able to swim by the river and see the regular faces.
I need to speak to Tian tonight.
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